You don't want to speak like me. I'm pretty fluent in douchebag. But I can help you understand what people mean when you're trying to translate those kinds of figures of speech, if you want.

[ Jared's eyes widen a little. ]

You know that guy? Is he always like that?

[ Then he shakes his head and shrugs a little. ]

No, I don't really have a whole lot of people back home to find around here, anyway, these days. Unless the people I play X-box with count, but I've never met them in person so I wouldn't know if I ran into them anyway.