Rikki felt Ben's hand squeezing harder and her brow creased with sympathy when he leaned his head back like that. The sniff smacked so hard of her own typical attempts to keep from crying that it felt like a punch in her gut. Rikki hadn't ever been good at this; consoling people. She'd never been good at feelings. Ever since her mum had left, she'd learned that it hurt less to just shut things down before they could escalate. She'd learned that talking about her feelings only made her dad more upset when he thought about it. So at the tender age of seven, Rikki taught herself that acknowledging feelings was bad.
Now, as an adult, she didn't know how to help people who were upset. Sometimes, if she knew the person well enough, she could stumble through it passably. Like when Cleo's mum and dad divorced, Rikki had been able to help with that a little because she'd known what it felt like to have her mum leave. But Ben's brother disappearing and potentially dead? That was not something in Rikki's wheelhouse.
But he was her friend, so she was going to try.
It surprised her a little to have Ben open up to her and she pushed away the question, your brother's name was Five? before she could accidentally ask it, because that was hardly the focal point of this conversation. Nor was the next question that bubbled up and Rikki swallowed down, what do you mean traveled through time wrong? so she ignored that one, too. Ben said he died when he was sixteen years old — maybe that was why he looked closer to her age than to Klaus's, in her opinion — and she realized that when she'd been sixteen, it hadn't been that long ago. She already lived longer than Ben had, by several years. She'd fallen in love. She'd fallen out of love. She ran a business. She graduated.
By the time he'd been sixteen, he'd lost a brother and died and he'd only been alive again for a couple of months' time before this with Klaus. Rikki couldn't even wrap her head around that realization and so how the hell was she supposed to make him feel better about it?
Ben's question made Rikki's stomach turn and twist as he loosened his grip and she, in turn, tightened hers, squeezing his hand again. Ben would probably want to hear her insist that no, Klaus was definitely back home. He couldn't be dead. Ben had gotten to know Rikki well enough over the past couple months, though, that even he would see right through it if she did. So, she didn't. She was honest.
"I dunno, mate. I really hope not," she whispered because her voice betrayed her for the lump forming in the back of her throat, not necessarily for Klaus — a bit for Klaus, obviously — but for the idea of being in Ben's shoes right now and seeing Cleo's face up on that wall instead. "I really, really hope not. It doesn't make sense to me that they'd bring us here and then kill us off after having to provide for us for the last couple of months," she added. "Maybe they were bored of him and the other guy and so they've just sent them back to make room for new people, I honestly don't know. I wish I did."
She leaned her head back against the wall beside Ben's, shifting her hand in his to lace her fingers through his instead of simply holding his palm against her own. "I'm sorry about Five," she added belatedly, turning her head to look at him. "And Klaus. And you, dying so young."
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Now, as an adult, she didn't know how to help people who were upset. Sometimes, if she knew the person well enough, she could stumble through it passably. Like when Cleo's mum and dad divorced, Rikki had been able to help with that a little because she'd known what it felt like to have her mum leave. But Ben's brother disappearing and potentially dead? That was not something in Rikki's wheelhouse.
But he was her friend, so she was going to try.
It surprised her a little to have Ben open up to her and she pushed away the question, your brother's name was Five? before she could accidentally ask it, because that was hardly the focal point of this conversation. Nor was the next question that bubbled up and Rikki swallowed down, what do you mean traveled through time wrong? so she ignored that one, too. Ben said he died when he was sixteen years old — maybe that was why he looked closer to her age than to Klaus's, in her opinion — and she realized that when she'd been sixteen, it hadn't been that long ago. She already lived longer than Ben had, by several years. She'd fallen in love. She'd fallen out of love. She ran a business. She graduated.
By the time he'd been sixteen, he'd lost a brother and died and he'd only been alive again for a couple of months' time before this with Klaus. Rikki couldn't even wrap her head around that realization and so how the hell was she supposed to make him feel better about it?
Ben's question made Rikki's stomach turn and twist as he loosened his grip and she, in turn, tightened hers, squeezing his hand again. Ben would probably want to hear her insist that no, Klaus was definitely back home. He couldn't be dead. Ben had gotten to know Rikki well enough over the past couple months, though, that even he would see right through it if she did. So, she didn't. She was honest.
"I dunno, mate. I really hope not," she whispered because her voice betrayed her for the lump forming in the back of her throat, not necessarily for Klaus — a bit for Klaus, obviously — but for the idea of being in Ben's shoes right now and seeing Cleo's face up on that wall instead. "I really, really hope not. It doesn't make sense to me that they'd bring us here and then kill us off after having to provide for us for the last couple of months," she added. "Maybe they were bored of him and the other guy and so they've just sent them back to make room for new people, I honestly don't know. I wish I did."
She leaned her head back against the wall beside Ben's, shifting her hand in his to lace her fingers through his instead of simply holding his palm against her own. "I'm sorry about Five," she added belatedly, turning her head to look at him. "And Klaus. And you, dying so young."